A Hillview Prep student is going to college this fall, to UC Davis. She is a good student, talented and makes her own money working during the summer. She knows what she wants. She is becoming more and more independent. She is exciting about going to college, to pursue her passion of what she wants to do in her life.
Yet she is apprehensive about college. Can you guess her two big fears?
Her two big fears are not making friends and not getting good grades in college.
We will address her one big fear in this blog post: not making friends. Here are 7 tips to make friends in college.
1. Be yourself.
Many self-conscious students are afraid to be themselves. Often, they fear what people think of them. Maybe they will be rejected by their peers. That is a big error and will cost you angst and grief. Don't care about what others think of you. You should focus on your values, what is important to you and you will find people in college you share your interests and personality. Also, often you may be attracted to people with a different personality. If you are an introvert, you may enjoy the company of an extrovert, and vice-versa.
Our student at Hillview Prep is an introvert. She does not like approaching people. Well, you don't have to do much. Just be yourself and the right people will come to you. The only thing you have to do is go mingle with your peers.
2. Make the dorm your second home.
Dorms are filled with other college freshmen going through similar experiences. Reach out to them and just say hello, even if you are shy. Just say hello. You will be surprised what reaction you will get. You will find many are eager to make friends too and share the same fear of not making friends like you do. Some will be rude or just reject. This may not be a bad thing, since they are either not the right fit for you, or they are reacting out of fear. Say hello again to them later, and they may reciprocate.
The Hillview Prep student loves to bake. We suggested she should bake cookies. People would come like bees to honey!!
3. Do extracurriculars.
Invest in your hobbies! Whatever they are, you will find something on campus. If you can't find it, create your own club. Extracurriculars are a great way to meet people and make friends and invest in your interests.
4. Never eat alone!
As Keith Ferrazi, author of 'Never Eat Alone' suggests to have meals with people. People have bonded over food throughout history. College is no different. Go out for meals with friends or to make new ones.
5. Be curious
Show interest in other people, especially those you like and are genuinely interested in. People will sense that you are interested in them and will talk to you. Remember, people love talking about themselves!
6. Join an intramural or club sports team.
Sports are a great way to meet new people and stay healthy. Join a sports team and have fun. If you are not competitive, join inter-murals and meet people who just like to play and have fun.
7. Get a job.
Often, getting a job as a tour guide, a clerk in the bookstore or cafeteria, or working for a professor will allow you to form common bonds with other students. And you will make money and learn useful skills.
8. Invite solitary people.
There are many shy students and those who are focused on their activities. Some are athlete students and don't have much time to socializing. If you like their activity, say running, ask them if you could join them. They would appreciate that and you may end up developing a good friendship.
So don't be fearful. You will make friends. Just keep it simple. Be curious and open to meeting new people.